Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize