I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
