we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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