I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
