My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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