ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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