then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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