You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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