Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm passing your future prison.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
