I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize