I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
