it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
