Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
