you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
