a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
