this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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