So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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