Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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