he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
