Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
