I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
