Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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