you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize