So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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