I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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