this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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