There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
