i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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