If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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