You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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