Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
