I must be too annoying 4 u.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize