My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize