I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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