I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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