ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
