We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
