man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
