I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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