Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
