She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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