Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
