You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
