when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
