i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
