i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
They are going to name an STD after you.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
