I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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