They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
