she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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