I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
