He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
this will be a night to untag.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
