She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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