no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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