I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
