But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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