Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
