based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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