Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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