Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Panties = found
Randomize
