I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
