so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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