is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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