Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
