Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
